How to Heal Abandonment Issues (Understanding Attachment Styles)

Hey there, lovely souls! I’ve missed connecting with you all. I took a little hiatus—about a week and a half—from social media and making videos due to a nasty stomach bug. But I’m back, feeling healthy, and eager to dive into a topic that’s been on my mind: abandonment issues and attachment styles.

My Personal Journey with Abandonment Issues

Let me share a bit about my background. When I was around seven, my brother and sister ran away from home, leaving me alone with my parents. Their focus shifted to bringing them back, attending court cases, and dealing with various challenges. As a young girl, I felt neglected and, understandably, abandoned. It wasn’t until my early twenties, after experiencing emotionally and physically abusive relationships, that I began to understand how these early experiences shaped my attachment style.

Understanding Attachment Styles

Attachment styles are patterns of how we connect with others, often rooted in our early experiences. There are three primary types:

 1. Anxious Attachment: This is where I found myself. It involves overthinking, fear of rejection, and a constant need for reassurance. For me, it stemmed from early abandonment and was exacerbated by later losses and traumas.

 2. Avoidant Attachment: Individuals with this style tend to distance themselves emotionally, fearing intimacy and often viewing affection as a weakness.

 3. Secure Attachment: Those with a secure attachment style are comfortable with intimacy, trust others, and maintain a healthy perspective on relationships.

The Anxious-Avoidant Trap

In the past, I often found myself in relationships where my anxious attachment clashed with partners who had avoidant tendencies. This dynamic led to a cycle of seeking reassurance and being pushed away, causing significant emotional pain. Recognizing this pattern was crucial in my healing journey.

Healing and Moving Forward

Here’s what helped me:

 • Identifying the Root Cause: Understanding where my abandonment issues originated allowed me to approach them with compassion rather than self-judgment.

 • Self-Love Practices: Spending time alone was initially challenging, but it became a transformative period. I took myself on dates, treated myself with kindness, and learned to enjoy my own company. This journey towards self-love is ongoing but has strengthened my sense of self-worth.

 • Understanding Attachment Styles: Educating myself about different attachment styles helped me navigate relationships more consciously. I became more discerning in choosing partners and set clear boundaries to protect my emotional well-being.

 • Communication: Being open about my fears and needs with potential partners allowed for healthier interactions. Clear communication helped in finding individuals who were understanding and willing to work together towards a secure attachment.

Embracing Your Journey

Remember, there’s nothing wrong with having abandonment issues or any particular attachment style. It’s about understanding yourself and taking steps towards healing. Seeking support from therapists or coaches can provide valuable guidance. And always prioritize self-love; it’s the foundation of all healthy relationships.

If you’re interested in diving deeper into self-discovery and healing, I invite you to explore my program, Tantrika. It’s designed to empower you, embrace your sensuality, and cultivate self-love. You can find more information and join our supportive community through my mobile app .

Thank you for being here, for sharing this space with me. If you have any questions or want to share your experiences, please comment below. Let’s continue to grow and heal together.

Sat Nam, beloveds. Until next time.